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· Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
· Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
· Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
· Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris".
· Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
· Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
· Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
· There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
· Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
· Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

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